Starting a new life

After 12 years, I am finding myself at a crossroads. I have always worked day shift part time. Now after having been out of work since February, I am exploring some other options. I am applying for a midnight shift and I am hopeful for that, but I have been more busy  in the SAHM realm then I EVER have before. So far I have enjoyed although to be honest, I find it to be much  more work then working Part time. My hubby works 80 hours a week and I always had the excuse "Well I worked today so this didn't get done, or that didn't get done" Now I have no excuses. I am left to my own devices on my failures at mommyhood. I have been trying to bake my great Aunt a cobbler for three weeks. I still haven't gotten it done. My little dog has decided our house is his toilet, and I have forgotten to send in almost all school papers, dance papers, Girl Scout Papers. You get it. It's not that I don't start the day off with great intentions, believe me I do. But then the kids go to school and I decide to nap. By the time I nap I may get three or four things on my to do list done and end the day feeling like a total failure. 
Not working in and of itself has made me feel like a failure as well. If my  husband is working that much I should be chipping in. But he is great about it and absolutely loves me being home. So I am praying God will show me what is in his plans for me. I know that my dream job is out there, all I have to do is find it. But I cannot help but question myself. What if I am meant to stay home with my kids and my parents for a bit. My mom has early onset dementia and my dad has extreme asthma. I cook for them 3 times a week and clean their house. Adding that with my own, I feel like I have a servants heart but I am wondering where to fit work in again. So I look at the midnight shifts. They are also talking about being in Florida for three months which leaves me no help with my kids. My son is 13 but still needs rides home from extra activities and my daughter is 9 if she is sick she needs a babysitter and she also has dance. 
So I follow my favorite you tubers and bloggers. The ones that truly motivate me. I thought I would give them a shout out here. I love Amanda the Virtuous wife, I reread all her old stuff and cook many of her recipes. Her beef enchiladas have become a family favorite. I will post the link below.


http://www.amandathevirtuouswife.com/2011/05/beef-enchilada-tutorial.html#.WRkTZOvyuUk

I also really enjoy watching Kimmy from she's in her apron on you tube. She is usually my morning show while I get ready. She is very motivating. So have you guys ever had big choices like this? How did you know when God was telling you the right answer? LMK in the comments below
Here is a pic of my little dog that we are working on training still. He is a Multipoo

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